Stained undies

Soiled Underwear Watch

I tend not to write too much about the Democratic primaries here, as we have a full field of nine announced candidates and possibly one or two more who are unannounced, and I don’t want to turn anyone off by supporting or not supporting their favorites. However, it is a great field, full of good candidates, and the process is enriched by having all of them use the platform of candidacy to promote their views. I did come across an article which I just had to share with you, though, just for its entertainment value. It is full of fear-laden, panic-stricken lies, which means of course it was written by a Republican, and you have to go to a very right-wing website to read it, but it is so worth it. What has Larry Kudlow’s soiled underwear in such a bunch over at the National Review? Howard Dean’s surge in fundraising and support. I haven’t enjoyed reading a right-wing screed so much in quite a while.

Let’s look at a few choice quotes from this hilarious article, shall we? First, the title, "Launch the Dean Counterattack: The Bushies must squelch this left-wing uprising". I mean, how hysterical is that? "Left-wing uprising"? I guess that’s what they call people participating in democracy these days. And the idea that it is so frightening that it has to be squelched, that the Chimpster is so vulnerable to criticism, fills me with sweet, satisfying Schadenfreude for their little, panicked, neocon hearts.

First he cites a recent poll by Zogby (not the most reliable pollster, but whatever) that Dean has a large lead right now in New Hampshire. Then "It’s time for all the president’s men to aggressively defend Bush's policies and attack Dean's extreme left-liberal positions." Kudlow, who has his own show on MSNBC or CNBC or MSGOP or whatever, is self-identifying as one of the "president’s men" (so much for the "liberal media") and classifying Dean as extreme left-liberal.

A word about Dean’s positions. They bring in to sharp focus the fact that the liberal-centrist-conservative single dimension ruler doesn’t do a good job of reflecting the multi-dimensional issues that make it up. Dean has some very liberal positions, mostly on social issues. He is also a deficit hawk, and seems relatively hard nosed about many foreign policy issues, tempered with the acknowledgment that we absolutely must work with other countries and within the framework of international law. A case can be made that depending on the issue, he is either extreme left-liberal, centrist, or conservative, but "moderate" or "pragmatic" is probably the best way to describe him. One of the main things I like about him is he doesn’t seem to be driven by ideology, unlike certain other election thieves I could name. Sorry, got off on a tangent about Dean there.

Kudlow then makes the astounding argument that Dean’s base is "narrow" because it only consists of half of the Democratic party and a third of the electorate. Would that everyone’s base were so narrow. He then mentions the liberal media again. What a tired old lie.

Then, check out this whiny passage, and get out your violins: "Following his successful rally in New York's Bryant Park this week, the New York Times saw fit to run a huge frontpage story with a color picture of the candidate. Meanwhile, a story on Bush's excellent speech at the VFW convention where he emphasized a stay-the-course commitment in Iraq was placed below the Dean story with a much smaller headline". This is so sad. Tears flow down my cheeks. Apparently the NYT didn’t get the memo about the appropriate placement and headline font size for stories about Smirky vis-à-vis Democratic candidates. I’m sure they’ll get a call from Karl Rove soon.

Finally, we get to Kudlow’s problems with Dean’s positions. Here is the list of horror: "universal health insurance, opposition to the Iraq war, balanced budgets, tax-cut repeal, affirmative action, and gay rights". I’m shocked, SHOCKED. Yeah, that sounds like a real recipe for disaster in this country. "This is not a winning combination, as numerous moderate Democrats point out." Thanks for the advice, Larry (and you too, Lieberman), I’m sure Dean will soon start listening to it, if he knows what’s good for him.

Then Kudlow starts laying out some smears for the good media lapdogs to lay on Dean. His healthcare plan is "Hillarycare". Heh heh, mention Hillary, that always gets people’s blood boiling. Link him to Ted Kennedy, yeah that’s the ticket.

Then comes this whopper: "On the economy, a strong recovery is building momentum." Stop the jokes, Larry, your making my tummy hurt. You may have heard that there were revised estimates for growth in the economy in the 2nd quarter of this year, but you probably also heard the only improvement was in military spending.

"As for foreign policy, Dean would destroy American credibility for at least the next fifty years". Fortunately, we won’t have any credibility left when Dim Son is given the boot, so there’s nothing to worry about there. "Culturally Dean would destroy the traditional American family". Boy, that Dean sure is both evil and powerful.

"Howard Dean's left-wing uprising should be squelched before it gains any currency in the public mind. Standing above the fray is no way to do it. Neither are caustic put downs. The Bushies must dig in now. They've got to pull out some serious policy analysis and some long knives before this Dean thing gets out of hand." I’ve never read such a viscerally satisfying, shrieking panic attack.

One thing is for certain, the Bushies are scared of the Democrats in general, and Dean in particular. That’s great news. Do you think someone pulled Kudlow aside after this and said, "Larry, you make some good points, but you make us all look like whimpering schoolgirls with that article. Cool it, would ya?"

Anyway, that’s all from the campaign trail for a while. I thought you’d enjoy it.