The Watch

The Watch is concerned about the increasing pressure towards feudalism in the United States from corporations, social regressives, warmongers, and the media. We also are concerned with future history concerning our current times, as non-truths which are “widely reported” become the basis for completely false narratives.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Regarding Dinosaurs on Noah's Ark

I think I'm going to vomit. I was raised Catholic, and I don't ever remember Adam and Eve running away from T-rex to avoid being eaten in the Garden of Eden.

Oh, wait - there's an explanation for that...

"Thus, at the Museum of Earth History, Genesis dictates gentle, vegetarian dinosaurs sharing Eden with Adam and Eve, whose vaguely Polynesian appearance represents all races, according to a guide. Another exhibit confirms that dinosaurs, like all land creatures created on Day 6, were on Noah's Ark. The exhibit maintains that the ark could accommodate them because it was huge — 450 feet long, 75 feet wide and 45 feet high — and only smaller, adolescent dinosaurs were put on board.

"Such literal interpretation is essential, Sharp said, because "If we lose Genesis as a legitimate scientific and historical explanation for man, then we lose the validity of Christianity. Period."

WHAT??? Genesis is a STORY - not a "legitimate scientific and historical explanation"!!!

I also like the re-interpretation of Noah's Ark - "only smaller, adolescent dinosaurs were put on board"! You know, I'm just having a hard time picturing all these animals fitting on the Ark... Even if they were small. Maybe the Ark was like the Tardis in Dr. Who (or Oscar's Garbage Can in Sesame Street)... By folding space over on itself via the formation of a miniature black hole and creating a space-time-discontinuity, I suppose it is possible that Noah engineered a cubic cubit that could hold the miniature dinosaurs... Oh wait, that technology doesn't exist yet. Plus the fact that dinosaurs didn't exist at the same time humans did also puts a small crimp in the theory.

You know, now that I think about it, I don't remember any mention of dinosaurs in the Bible. Could the fact that dinosaurs and humans never co-existed have anything to do with this omission? I wonder...

-John Locke