California Courts Watch
On Friday, October 6, 2006, in a 2-1 decision, the California Court of Appeals reversed a lower court’s decision that declared that gays and lesbians had the constitutional right to marry in California. Among the many unconscionable things written in the decision, was the quote: “California law does not prohibit gays and lesbians from marrying, so long as they marry a person of the opposite sex.”
Wow. Who would have thought that the court system could be so enlightened… It is clear that the two judges who voted to overturn the trial court’s decision have no friends who are gay, because the opinions that they issued were so dramatically uneducated, it defies belief.
The “moderate” judge, who ruled that gays and lesbians do not have the right to get married concluded that IF sexual orientation is not a choice, then the denial of marriage rights to gays and lesbians would be “suspect” (subject to a higher level of judicial review) and thus implied that the ruling would have gone the other way.
Let’s see here… Who, among anyone who has a good friend who is gay or lesbian, believes even for a moment that your friend chose their sexual orientation – that they chose to be gay or lesbian? No? No one? That’s right folks, because people simply do not choose their sexual orientation.
If people did choose their sexual orientation, then it might happen something like this…
Scene: young boy, just turned 12 years old, sleeping in bedroom. Sun just beginning to rise through window, birds chirping.
Enter Father, stage right.
Father: Rise and shine, sleepyhead! Happy twelfth birthday, Son! Today’s the big day!
Son: (rubbing eyes) Wha???
Father: This is it! Your twelfth birthday!
Son: (Looks at clock) So? It’s six o’clock in the morning. I want to sleep!
Father: Come on, get up! Its time to decide your sexual orientation, Son!
Son: Huh? (More forcefully) What??
Father: (Exasperated) Today is the day you get to decide your sexual orientation!!!
Son: I heard you, but I don’t understand.
Father: (Laughing) Ok, Ok. I was so excited I forgot to explain… (Sits on side of bed, holding Parental Pamphlet) Everyone has to choose their sexual orientation, Son. There a number of orientations to choose from, but you have to pick one. Now, there’s no pressure, and your Mother and I will support whatever decision you make, but there comes a time in a person’s life when you have to pick an orientation, and that day is today!
Son: Oh. Ok. Go on.
Father: Well, like I said, you have a number of choices: heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, transgender, etc… The list goes on (points at Pamphlet), but those are the main choices. There are some sub-choices, but let’s stay simple for now.
Son: Ok.
Father: To help you out, let me recap what each of the main four choices are:
Heterosexual: First off, let me start by saying what a FINE choice this would be. Both your Mother and I are firmly and completely 100% heterosexual! We made that choice years ago and we never looked back. No regrets at all! Heterosexual means that boys are attracted to girls and vice versa. Most everyone (at least 90% of the population) picks this one. And why wouldn’t they??? It’s definitely a great choice. Since most people are heterosexual, you will fit in with everyone else. No one will pick on you because you chose to be heterosexual. Choosing to be heterosexual means that you can get married to the person of your dreams (by definition a girl) and you and your wife can raise a family with all possible legal protections. Most people will assume you are heterosexual, and you will find it easy to make friends and make small talk about your family, which in turn will help you build a career at work. No one ever gets fired for being heterosexual, that’s for damn sure.
Ok, now homosexual: This means that instead of being attracted to girls, you will be attracted to boys. (Shudders) I can’t really think of any advantages to this, but I can think of a number of disadvantages. First, you will be in the minority. Less than 10% of the population is gay, so you will part of a pretty small minority. You may get picked on some. (Laughs). What am I saying??? You WILL get picked on. You may get beat up. Hell, some homosexuals even get killed because they are gay. So there’s that. To avoid getting picked on, beat up, or killed, many gays choose to live in the closet, which means they live secret lives and pretend that they are not homosexual; they have fewer true friends because they live in the closet, and are more prone to depression and suicide because society doesn’t accept them. You can get fired for being gay. Up until recently, in some states it was illegal for two consenting homosexual adults to have sex in private – however, the Supreme Court recently declared such laws unconstitutional. Many Americans are hoping that the current administration will appoint more conservative justices to the Court, and that decision can be overturned soon. With the exception of one state, you won’t be able to marry the person you are attracted to, and you will be discriminated against in terms of legal protections, taxes, and just about everything else. Oh yes, a lot of Americans (some of them not too stable, and some being politicians) believe that you will go to hell for being homosexual, and will say many nasty things about you. But since these people are criticizing a minority, their behavior is tolerated and sometimes rewarded.
Bisexual: This means you can go either way -- attracted to both boys and girls. Kind of like a switch hitter in baseball, I guess. This is not a bad choice -- certainly better than homosexual, but not as good as heterosexual in terms of societal acceptance. Not that society accepts bisexuals, mind you. Just that you can get away with being attracted to boys by publicly being attracted to girls. ‘Nuff said.
Transgender: Don’t understand this much. From the Parental Pamphlet I got a few weeks ago in preparation for your twelfth birthday, it seems that transgender people are confused. They can’t decide whether they want to be a boy or a girl. This confusion can range from just being a cross-dresser and, in the case of a boy, wanting to wear women’s clothing, to wanting to go all the way and change sexes. (Draws close and whispers) Means you get your you-know-what CUT OFF! (Leans back) Definitely not accepted by society -- can definitely get you fired. And you definitely don’t want to go announcing that you are transgender to anyone – like homosexual behavior, this can easily get you killed. Strictly speaking, being transgender is more about your own identity rather than who you are attracted to, but since you have to decide your orientation, you also have to decide your identity as well… Most people will just think you’re mentally unbalanced, so it’s probably better than we stop talking about this choice anyway.
Father: Anyway, so today you get to choose your sexual orientation. What’ll it be, Son?
Son: Hmmmm… So many choices… I guess… No… I… Uh….
Father: Come on, come on! Spit it out!
Son: (Excited) Ok. You convinced me: I want to be gay!
Father: (Face crumpling) WHAT?!? (Collapses on floor). I am a failure as a father! (Wails)
Son: (Laughing) Oh, come on Dad! I was just pulling your chain! I was kidding! I want to be heterosexual!
Father: (Shakily) Oh, my dear Jesus. You had me there, I must say. Whew! (Wipes sweat off brow).
Son: Come on, Dad! Do you think I am stupid? Why on earth would I CHOOSE to be gay??? That’s ridiculous!
Father: (Big grin) Yep, sure is, Son! Hey! Why don’t you pull the same trick on your Mother? She will just DIE! (Snickers and smacks Son on back). Then we can all go celebrate!
Exit Father and Son, stage right.
Yeeeeeessssssssss… We all choose our sexual orientation. Riiiiiiight... Because we can all remember that special day when we chose what our sexual orientation would be, right? But apparently, the judge in the case was looking for specific scientific proof and evidence that people do not chose their sexual orientation; and if that proof had been provided, the judge would have voted the other way. But it’s hard to prove scientifically that we don’t choose our orientation, even though no one EVER talks about making such a decision.
Recent cases in other states have been decided equally stupidly. My favorite argument in the New York Supreme Case (which ruled against gays’ and lesbians’ right to marry) was that marriage is to protect heterosexual couples’ babies, since heterosexual couples can get pregnant accidentally, and thus need more legal protections to help hold their families together. Since homosexual couples cannot get pregnant accidentally, those couples will only get pregnant or adopt children when their relationships are already stable, so they don’t need the legal protection that heterosexual couples need. My jaw hit the floor when I heard that argument.
Anyway, the California case will now be decided by the California Supreme Court, which is not a surprise -- the case was always going to end up there no matter what the Appeals Court decision was. I just hope the Supreme Court is more enlightened than the Appeals Court, because the Appeals Court decision was pretty stupid.
-John Locke
Wow. Who would have thought that the court system could be so enlightened… It is clear that the two judges who voted to overturn the trial court’s decision have no friends who are gay, because the opinions that they issued were so dramatically uneducated, it defies belief.
The “moderate” judge, who ruled that gays and lesbians do not have the right to get married concluded that IF sexual orientation is not a choice, then the denial of marriage rights to gays and lesbians would be “suspect” (subject to a higher level of judicial review) and thus implied that the ruling would have gone the other way.
Let’s see here… Who, among anyone who has a good friend who is gay or lesbian, believes even for a moment that your friend chose their sexual orientation – that they chose to be gay or lesbian? No? No one? That’s right folks, because people simply do not choose their sexual orientation.
If people did choose their sexual orientation, then it might happen something like this…
Scene: young boy, just turned 12 years old, sleeping in bedroom. Sun just beginning to rise through window, birds chirping.
Enter Father, stage right.
Father: Rise and shine, sleepyhead! Happy twelfth birthday, Son! Today’s the big day!
Son: (rubbing eyes) Wha???
Father: This is it! Your twelfth birthday!
Son: (Looks at clock) So? It’s six o’clock in the morning. I want to sleep!
Father: Come on, get up! Its time to decide your sexual orientation, Son!
Son: Huh? (More forcefully) What??
Father: (Exasperated) Today is the day you get to decide your sexual orientation!!!
Son: I heard you, but I don’t understand.
Father: (Laughing) Ok, Ok. I was so excited I forgot to explain… (Sits on side of bed, holding Parental Pamphlet) Everyone has to choose their sexual orientation, Son. There a number of orientations to choose from, but you have to pick one. Now, there’s no pressure, and your Mother and I will support whatever decision you make, but there comes a time in a person’s life when you have to pick an orientation, and that day is today!
Son: Oh. Ok. Go on.
Father: Well, like I said, you have a number of choices: heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, transgender, etc… The list goes on (points at Pamphlet), but those are the main choices. There are some sub-choices, but let’s stay simple for now.
Son: Ok.
Father: To help you out, let me recap what each of the main four choices are:
Heterosexual: First off, let me start by saying what a FINE choice this would be. Both your Mother and I are firmly and completely 100% heterosexual! We made that choice years ago and we never looked back. No regrets at all! Heterosexual means that boys are attracted to girls and vice versa. Most everyone (at least 90% of the population) picks this one. And why wouldn’t they??? It’s definitely a great choice. Since most people are heterosexual, you will fit in with everyone else. No one will pick on you because you chose to be heterosexual. Choosing to be heterosexual means that you can get married to the person of your dreams (by definition a girl) and you and your wife can raise a family with all possible legal protections. Most people will assume you are heterosexual, and you will find it easy to make friends and make small talk about your family, which in turn will help you build a career at work. No one ever gets fired for being heterosexual, that’s for damn sure.
Ok, now homosexual: This means that instead of being attracted to girls, you will be attracted to boys. (Shudders) I can’t really think of any advantages to this, but I can think of a number of disadvantages. First, you will be in the minority. Less than 10% of the population is gay, so you will part of a pretty small minority. You may get picked on some. (Laughs). What am I saying??? You WILL get picked on. You may get beat up. Hell, some homosexuals even get killed because they are gay. So there’s that. To avoid getting picked on, beat up, or killed, many gays choose to live in the closet, which means they live secret lives and pretend that they are not homosexual; they have fewer true friends because they live in the closet, and are more prone to depression and suicide because society doesn’t accept them. You can get fired for being gay. Up until recently, in some states it was illegal for two consenting homosexual adults to have sex in private – however, the Supreme Court recently declared such laws unconstitutional. Many Americans are hoping that the current administration will appoint more conservative justices to the Court, and that decision can be overturned soon. With the exception of one state, you won’t be able to marry the person you are attracted to, and you will be discriminated against in terms of legal protections, taxes, and just about everything else. Oh yes, a lot of Americans (some of them not too stable, and some being politicians) believe that you will go to hell for being homosexual, and will say many nasty things about you. But since these people are criticizing a minority, their behavior is tolerated and sometimes rewarded.
Bisexual: This means you can go either way -- attracted to both boys and girls. Kind of like a switch hitter in baseball, I guess. This is not a bad choice -- certainly better than homosexual, but not as good as heterosexual in terms of societal acceptance. Not that society accepts bisexuals, mind you. Just that you can get away with being attracted to boys by publicly being attracted to girls. ‘Nuff said.
Transgender: Don’t understand this much. From the Parental Pamphlet I got a few weeks ago in preparation for your twelfth birthday, it seems that transgender people are confused. They can’t decide whether they want to be a boy or a girl. This confusion can range from just being a cross-dresser and, in the case of a boy, wanting to wear women’s clothing, to wanting to go all the way and change sexes. (Draws close and whispers) Means you get your you-know-what CUT OFF! (Leans back) Definitely not accepted by society -- can definitely get you fired. And you definitely don’t want to go announcing that you are transgender to anyone – like homosexual behavior, this can easily get you killed. Strictly speaking, being transgender is more about your own identity rather than who you are attracted to, but since you have to decide your orientation, you also have to decide your identity as well… Most people will just think you’re mentally unbalanced, so it’s probably better than we stop talking about this choice anyway.
Father: Anyway, so today you get to choose your sexual orientation. What’ll it be, Son?
Son: Hmmmm… So many choices… I guess… No… I… Uh….
Father: Come on, come on! Spit it out!
Son: (Excited) Ok. You convinced me: I want to be gay!
Father: (Face crumpling) WHAT?!? (Collapses on floor). I am a failure as a father! (Wails)
Son: (Laughing) Oh, come on Dad! I was just pulling your chain! I was kidding! I want to be heterosexual!
Father: (Shakily) Oh, my dear Jesus. You had me there, I must say. Whew! (Wipes sweat off brow).
Son: Come on, Dad! Do you think I am stupid? Why on earth would I CHOOSE to be gay??? That’s ridiculous!
Father: (Big grin) Yep, sure is, Son! Hey! Why don’t you pull the same trick on your Mother? She will just DIE! (Snickers and smacks Son on back). Then we can all go celebrate!
Exit Father and Son, stage right.
Yeeeeeessssssssss… We all choose our sexual orientation. Riiiiiiight... Because we can all remember that special day when we chose what our sexual orientation would be, right? But apparently, the judge in the case was looking for specific scientific proof and evidence that people do not chose their sexual orientation; and if that proof had been provided, the judge would have voted the other way. But it’s hard to prove scientifically that we don’t choose our orientation, even though no one EVER talks about making such a decision.
Recent cases in other states have been decided equally stupidly. My favorite argument in the New York Supreme Case (which ruled against gays’ and lesbians’ right to marry) was that marriage is to protect heterosexual couples’ babies, since heterosexual couples can get pregnant accidentally, and thus need more legal protections to help hold their families together. Since homosexual couples cannot get pregnant accidentally, those couples will only get pregnant or adopt children when their relationships are already stable, so they don’t need the legal protection that heterosexual couples need. My jaw hit the floor when I heard that argument.
Anyway, the California case will now be decided by the California Supreme Court, which is not a surprise -- the case was always going to end up there no matter what the Appeals Court decision was. I just hope the Supreme Court is more enlightened than the Appeals Court, because the Appeals Court decision was pretty stupid.
-John Locke
posted by John Locke | 2:06 AM
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