Non-gay, Non-drug-abusing, Non-alcoholic, Non-hypocritical, Non-pedophile, Non-morally-bankrupt, and/or Non-corrupt Republican Watch
Are there any non-gay, non-drug-abusing, non-alcoholic, non-hypocritical, non-pedophile, non-morally-bankrupt, and/or non-corrupt Republicans? Current evidence says no.
Recent and not-so-recent events indicate that Republicans are either:
1) gay
2) drug abusers
3) alcoholic
4) hypocritical
5) pedophile
6) morally bankrupt
7) corrupt
or some combination of the above…
Case in point: Republican homophobic hatemonger Ted Haggard and big-time opponent of same-sex marriage now appears to have hired a gay prostitute for methamphetamines and sexual gratification. That would be 1, 2, 4, and 6 from the list. If he was hopped up on meth when he was participating in one of the presumably many teleconferences between evangelical Christian leaders and President Boosh, that would be just plain ironic.
Case in point: Republican congressman Mark Foley has admitted to being gay and an alcoholic, but has denied being a pedophile. That would be 1 and 3 and possibly 4, 5, and 6 as well.
Case in point: Republican representative Bob Ney has pled guilty to criminal conspiracy and making false statements with respect to his dealings with Republican Jack Abramoff. That would be 6 and 7.
Case in point: Republican representative, allegedly happily married, and staunch "marriage defender" Don Sherwood, admitted having a FIVE YEAR affair with a woman other than his wife; he does deny trying to kill her. However, he has reportedly paid her $500,000 to not talk about the affair and the supposed choking incident until after the election. That would be 4 and 6.
Case in point: Republican and former Bush Administration official David Safavian was found guilty of obstruction of justice, claimed he was sorry, and asked for leniency in the case relating to Republican Jack Abramoff. His lawyers then promised to appeal. That would be 6 and 7.
Case in point: Republican Tom Delay was indicted for breaking campaign finance laws. After first denying the charges, Mr. Delay resigned from congress soon after winning the nomination of his party in the primary. That would be 4, 6, and 7.
Case in point: Republican state congressman Michael Huffington finally admitted he was gay in 1998 and divorced his wife of 12 years. That would be 1 and 4.
Case in point: Jim Bakker, televangelist and hatemonger extraordinaire, reportedly embezzled millions from his Praise-The-Lord network and was convicted of fraud and conspiracy to commit fraud. Mr. Bakker reportedly paid Ms. Jessica Hahn so that she would not report Bakker’s drugging and raping of her. Mr. Bakker is divorced from his first wife and has remarried. That would be 4, 6, and 7.
Case in point: Republican talk show host and hatemonger Rush Limbaugh used to say that any white person doing drugs should be convicted and “sent up the river”. As it turns out, Mr. Limbaugh is very good at prescription shopping, getting prescriptions for Oxycontin from multiple doctors, and then having his housekeeper pick up the highly addictive drug. Mr. Limbaugh has also been caught with Viagra, which was prescribed to someone else. That would be 2, 4, and 6.
Case in point: Chief Republican and President Boosh. In his first election, Mr. Boosh promised to unite, not divide. Almost six years later, the country is extremely divided; Mr. Boosh uses the politics of hate to attack gay people, immigrants, and people of different faiths. Mr. Boosh swore to uphold the Constitution; yet he ordered warrantless wiretapping, detained terror suspects indefinitely without access to lawyers or the court system, and illegally obtained phone records of millions of Americans. He swore to defend the United States from all enemies, foreign and domestic; yet the massive intelligence failures of his administration and his indifference to his responsibilities allowed 9-11 to happen. He also promised not to nation-build; yet he has failed in his efforts to nation-build in Afghanistan (not enough to bomb) and in Iraq (no weapons of mass destruction). Mr. Boosh promised to fire anyone involved with the outing of Valerie Plame; yet he has stood by and NOT fired admitted traitor Karl Rove (who, as it turns out, is rumored to be gay) who helped out her. Finally, Mr. Boosh is an admitted alcoholic and rumors persist that he has done more than a little bit of the white stuff as well. That would be 2, 3, 4, 6, and 7.
I could go on and on and on. The lies, hypocrisy, and deceptions of Republicans -- members of the self-proclaimed “moral” political party -- is truly staggering,
SO, if there are any Republicans out there who are not gay, drug abusers, alcoholics, hypocritical, pedophile, morally bankrupt, and/or corrupt, it would be nice to know who…
Because maybe then we could have an honest intellectual debate. Until one is found, I can only urge you to vote Democratic.
-John Locke
Recent and not-so-recent events indicate that Republicans are either:
1) gay
2) drug abusers
3) alcoholic
4) hypocritical
5) pedophile
6) morally bankrupt
7) corrupt
or some combination of the above…
Case in point: Republican homophobic hatemonger Ted Haggard and big-time opponent of same-sex marriage now appears to have hired a gay prostitute for methamphetamines and sexual gratification. That would be 1, 2, 4, and 6 from the list. If he was hopped up on meth when he was participating in one of the presumably many teleconferences between evangelical Christian leaders and President Boosh, that would be just plain ironic.
Case in point: Republican congressman Mark Foley has admitted to being gay and an alcoholic, but has denied being a pedophile. That would be 1 and 3 and possibly 4, 5, and 6 as well.
Case in point: Republican representative Bob Ney has pled guilty to criminal conspiracy and making false statements with respect to his dealings with Republican Jack Abramoff. That would be 6 and 7.
Case in point: Republican representative, allegedly happily married, and staunch "marriage defender" Don Sherwood, admitted having a FIVE YEAR affair with a woman other than his wife; he does deny trying to kill her. However, he has reportedly paid her $500,000 to not talk about the affair and the supposed choking incident until after the election. That would be 4 and 6.
Case in point: Republican and former Bush Administration official David Safavian was found guilty of obstruction of justice, claimed he was sorry, and asked for leniency in the case relating to Republican Jack Abramoff. His lawyers then promised to appeal. That would be 6 and 7.
Case in point: Republican Tom Delay was indicted for breaking campaign finance laws. After first denying the charges, Mr. Delay resigned from congress soon after winning the nomination of his party in the primary. That would be 4, 6, and 7.
Case in point: Republican state congressman Michael Huffington finally admitted he was gay in 1998 and divorced his wife of 12 years. That would be 1 and 4.
Case in point: Jim Bakker, televangelist and hatemonger extraordinaire, reportedly embezzled millions from his Praise-The-Lord network and was convicted of fraud and conspiracy to commit fraud. Mr. Bakker reportedly paid Ms. Jessica Hahn so that she would not report Bakker’s drugging and raping of her. Mr. Bakker is divorced from his first wife and has remarried. That would be 4, 6, and 7.
Case in point: Republican talk show host and hatemonger Rush Limbaugh used to say that any white person doing drugs should be convicted and “sent up the river”. As it turns out, Mr. Limbaugh is very good at prescription shopping, getting prescriptions for Oxycontin from multiple doctors, and then having his housekeeper pick up the highly addictive drug. Mr. Limbaugh has also been caught with Viagra, which was prescribed to someone else. That would be 2, 4, and 6.
Case in point: Chief Republican and President Boosh. In his first election, Mr. Boosh promised to unite, not divide. Almost six years later, the country is extremely divided; Mr. Boosh uses the politics of hate to attack gay people, immigrants, and people of different faiths. Mr. Boosh swore to uphold the Constitution; yet he ordered warrantless wiretapping, detained terror suspects indefinitely without access to lawyers or the court system, and illegally obtained phone records of millions of Americans. He swore to defend the United States from all enemies, foreign and domestic; yet the massive intelligence failures of his administration and his indifference to his responsibilities allowed 9-11 to happen. He also promised not to nation-build; yet he has failed in his efforts to nation-build in Afghanistan (not enough to bomb) and in Iraq (no weapons of mass destruction). Mr. Boosh promised to fire anyone involved with the outing of Valerie Plame; yet he has stood by and NOT fired admitted traitor Karl Rove (who, as it turns out, is rumored to be gay) who helped out her. Finally, Mr. Boosh is an admitted alcoholic and rumors persist that he has done more than a little bit of the white stuff as well. That would be 2, 3, 4, 6, and 7.
I could go on and on and on. The lies, hypocrisy, and deceptions of Republicans -- members of the self-proclaimed “moral” political party -- is truly staggering,
SO, if there are any Republicans out there who are not gay, drug abusers, alcoholics, hypocritical, pedophile, morally bankrupt, and/or corrupt, it would be nice to know who…
Because maybe then we could have an honest intellectual debate. Until one is found, I can only urge you to vote Democratic.
-John Locke
posted by John Locke | 9:23 PM
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